Pwned

(no subject)

Being quick witted and amazing as usual Nicole got on Joes back and smacked his ass and he started bucking and trotting to their next destination: PAN MEI BAKERY.

After 67 days and 3 miles they finally made it. But as they were about enter and over indulge in over cooked sugary rice and coconut rolls and pork rolls..GAYBOT 2000 and his gay dance team
  • Current Mood
    bitchy
Pwned

(no subject)

DIVINE!, Joe and Nicole peed in excitement! then Joe looked closely..and realized it's that peice of shit John Travolta! Nicole and Joe imediatly vomited violently on John. "HOW DARE YOU I AM DIVINE!111!!".. "Bitch you ain't no queen, you're just the taxi driver from Look Who's Talking" snapped Nicole. He was noticibly getting angry. Joe fainted like the dainty fragile flower he is.. Nicole took a huge dump on his chest. A limo pulled up just as Nicole was going to scratch some eyes out..

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
  • Current Mood
    bored

(no subject)

Joe and Nicole arrived 5 hours late to the mansion of luv. Once they arrived inside they were whisked away to the dressing rooms to get ready for the panty ceremony. Joe started cramping, but the producers refused to let him use the little boys room. Once they got their $3 polyester patio gowns they were read for the show to start.

They went downstairs to a room full of ebony sweetness. There were fights everywhere alreadyw ith weave rippage included. Joe was so excited he forgot to hold his bowels, it came out like a dump truck pouring mounds and mounds of dirt. This made Nicole shit, and soon after everybody else.

Soon after the last bowel released, Lindsay Lohan walked in with her crew...

Hot Carls

Soon after what it seemed an eternity... or 10 minutes Joe and Nicole got bored so they decided to take a detour and stop at Hot Carls soul food empourium. They got inside and sat down.. they felt like they were in a sea of chocolate. The voluptuous oversized waitress slammed the menus down. Joe started shaking and urinating like a small dog. "What can I get for ya sweet potatoe nipple nappers" ... "Uh I want chicken" Nicole stuttered. .. Joe proceeded to urinate more and then a homeless man violated him in 8 different ways, while Nicole looked on and ordered Joe Chicken as well.. They waitress reached in her panties and pulled out 2 chicken legs and scraped some collard greens from her chest hair, and proceeded to plucked corn bread out of her large weave. Joe ate it while hovering in the corner ina fetal position.

They left a $3.21 tip .. and quickly left to further on their journey. But they made another stop at the beauty shop..
  • Current Music
    The Reunion Show- Alligator Love Trap

(no subject)

Joe and Nicole felt the tempurature drop rapidly and they soon heard squirting sounds. They came cross a dumpy north Flint looking neighborhood and several popeye chickens, Joe clings to Nicole and cries "I'm skurred Nicole!!", Nicole Slapped that bitch silly. The squirting sounds got louder.. they saw movement.. "YA'LL WANNA BUY SUM RAWKS!?.. I GOTS TA PAY MA CABLE BILL AND FEED MY CATS". A bald tall whore came out of the shadows, wearing green spandex and a hot pink tube top, and sporting some amazing camel toe. Joe and Nicole didn't hesitate and bought $34 worth of rocks. Tamtam (the name of the creature they found out through her gurgling de-phonictized speech impediment) invited them into her trailer which had a stench of cat urine and Briteny Spears 'curious' perfume. She gave them each a new set of clothes they could continue there journey in comfort. Joe was sporting a tight christmas themed teddy, while Nicole wore a Potatoe Sack with purple feather trim. They felt fetching and refreshed.


As they left the rubble, Nicole ran into one of her one night stands..
  • Current Mood
    artistic

Chapter 3: Matzilla

Joe and Nicole soon retired to a Starbucks that was located in the
center of the cave and enjoyed some nice cool Frappachinos. Soon after
they did some more livejournal pix omg.
They continued on their quest, but then came about their next
obstacle: Matzilla and his god awful movie coellction.
Joe and Nicole had no fear. They combined their magical ruby red
slippers and with a big swoosh..."With your powers combined I AM
DIVINE!", She stormed over to Matzilla and picked him up by his stolen
goodwill tshirt, and flicked him away into Arrontrons vaginal
secretions.
"Wew! Thanks Divine!" They chanted, anytime my loves she replied,
"Take this magical whistle, it will help you on your journey". Joey
put it inside Nicoles purse next to the Cadillac and Mercedes..
  • Current Mood
    dorky

The Journey begins..

Once upon a time a 'Your-Ride' dropped Joey and Nicole off at the Cave
of Doom. They wanted to find treasure. But that day, all of there
hopes and dreams and innocense were trashed and punctured.

"COME ON YOU KEGEL!" cried Joey, as he tore away at the rocks.
"TREASURE!". Nicole picked up a pebble and threw it, Joe picked up a
boulder and threw it. Five minutes later they were taking pictures of
each other for new Livejournal icons. "I forgot why we came here Joe"
said Nicole. "Me too" replied Joe.

They continued to explore the cave, until they came upon Arrontron.
"WHO DARES TO COME INTO MY CAVE!?" she roared. Tis I, Josheph E.
Thurlow, he then proceeded to whip out his Gay ID.. the magical
Express card, the key to anything. "OMFG" cried Arrontron as she lit
up a pack of cigarettes and put away her ball gag and dildo. "We are
here to find some treasure.. I think?" Said Nicole. "Yes, we came to
find the most magical thing ever!.. Jean Hills panties!". "FOOLS!"
barked Arrontron, everybody knows that's imposible, only the queerest
of queer can do this, how can one prove this? Almost any gay man with
great credit can get a Express card!" "Well.." said Joe, "I got my
hag, and my copy of Destinys Child 'Bootylicius'..". By this point
Arrontron moved on and Joe was left talking to her decapitated
exboyfriend. They quickly left moved furthur on.
  • Current Mood
    creative